Truthing It (Comments on Ephesians 4)

Packer and Nystrom have good insight on the phrase in Ephesians, "speaking the truth in love." This phrase is not just telling your friends hard truths in a loving manner. An oversimplified example comes to mind, "I love you, but you have bad breath." It may include that idea of interpersonal boldness in correction or exhortation, but it is a much grander concept.

Here's the passage to provide context.

Ephesians 4:12-16
And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers,to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

J. I. Packer and Carol Nystrom in their book on praying emphasized the need for community in the Christian life. They pointed out to live out the truth you need to be loved and to love others in community.

Praying: Finding our Way through Duty to Delight
First, "speaking the truth" is an unavoidable undertranslation, for the Greek word means expressing and living out the truth in every way possible, and there is no single English word for that. John Stott, following some older commentators, gave "truthing it" as a rendering, coining a new verb to catch the breadth of meaning. (p. 247)

Mike Cosper provides additional support to this idea that "speaking the truth in love" is living out truth in community.

Mike Cosper
Speaking the truth in love” is often understood as saying hard things or dealing with conflict: we “speak the truth in love” when we confront sin or say unpopular things lovingly. According to Peterson, though, “speaking the truth in love” is not so much about interpersonal boldness as it is about a community that shares a confession, a unified expression of faith in the God who saved them. The gathered body teaches the Word and proclaims it together; we speak the truth I love as we sing, read the Scriptures, and remember the gospel together.” (Rhythms of Grace, p. 80)